But before that I think it's pivotal to explain why I'm on tinder. I used to shun my friends when they said they used it, and now I am that hypocrite who can't get enough. Something about talking to people I would have never met or even known existed gets me excited. So, I guess my reason for downloading the app was first and foremost to see if I got any matches. And second, if a guy messaged me, see where it went. I've heard horror stories of people getting catfished or meeting up and getting into trouble. I'm not an idiot. I am here for a good conversation...what's the worst that could happen from that?
Now part of me really hates tinder because it stands on the principle of seeing someone and judging them on what they look like. Self-validation is one of the reasons it's all the rage for my fellow millenials. I personally think it's so so nice when guys message me saying I'm really pretty or have a beautiful smile. But, I'd rather someone ask questions about me, learn my personality. And many guys have! You can write a little bio, and that's what sparks conversation usually. Here is mine:
I'm not going to lie; I've had some pretty decent conversations on the app. And I've been asked on dates and actually even gone on a few. Of course I background check those guys like crazy and at least talk to them for a week before meeting. But, it's been a fun time. I'm trying this new thing where I actually do spontaneous things rather than sit and watch netflix every night. You want to go watch sports at a restaurant on a Tuesday? Sure, why not. I'm tired of living the boring life, so adventurous Amy is on the rise.
I'm sure by now you're judging me for actually going on dates through an app seen as "just for hook-ups". But, I can honestly say that the guys I've met, and probably some others, are actually on there to talk and get out of their apartments as well. Not everyone is looking to use Tinder for the same thing. But contrary to what people think, I know there are decent people who just want to live it up and meet new people. Just like me :)
Alright, alright. On to the fun part...Here are some delectable pick up lines that either made me cringe or die laughing. I'm going to use their names just because I think it's funny how many names repeat. If I match another Colin or Matthew I swear...
Keith: You ever just lay down, look at the stars and think about how crazy the world is? Like why is there a D in fridge but no D in refrigerator?
**I told him he was insightful.
Jared: I am also a TacoBell enthusiast, can we get married?
Aaron: You owe me a new phone. Cause the second I saw TacoBell enthusiast, my jaw dropped along with my phone.
**Ok...yes most of these include TBell. Still not sorry about it.
I don't even know if this can be classified as a pick up line...but I cry every time.
Hunter: Am I a bad person if I haven't told my cat she's adopted?
Matt: If you were a vegetable you would be a cutecumber.
**cue the vomit
Alex: Well tinder says we would make beautiful kids but I think we should do drinks before we start working on the future models of America.
**Hmmm...I really do not believe that tinder told you that sir.
Tommy: Ever cook a honey-baked ham before?
**I seriously couldn't breathe when I got this message. I sat on my bed and cracked up. Like what?
Andrew: Scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
Ryan: It's weird, happiness usually begins with h but mine begins with you.
Jonathan: Soup cereal and amy from tinder.
(I had to ask this kid what he meant...)
Just 3 things I'd like to spoon.
**NEXTTTTTTT.
Matt: Are you my appendix? Because I dont understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
PAUSE FOR ONE SECOND. I cannot stand when people can't use proper grammar. And I just found a few examples.
Justin: Hey gorgious
**I'm sorry, get off tinder right now, look up synonyms for gorgeous and use those. You kill me Justin. We could've had it all.
James: You smile could bring world peace.
********YOUR grammar could end my inner peace.
So there ya have it, folks. Just a few (believe me I sifted to find the best..and most appropriate) of my favorite tinder lines. And next time you think about embarrassing your friend because she/he is going on a tinder date, don't. You gotta try it!
Swiper no left swiping, swiper no left swiping.
Oh man.
peace.love.meep
-amyjoy
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