I miss the 90s.
Not only did we have all the angst in the world, us millenials used to have the best disses and phrases of all time.
"SIKKKKE" whenever we said something then rescinded it.
"I'm rubber. You're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you" whenever someone said something you didn't find nice.
"Guess what?! Chicken butt. Guess who?! Chicken poo. Guess where?! In your hair!" Just because.
We also had phenomenal toys that taught us lessons. I learned from tomagatchis that taking care of a "pet" is annoying because all they do is eat and poop. Somewhat a blessing when the battery died on those things. Otherwise you'd sit at your desk and pray you wouldn't get in trouble for secretly cleaning your virtual "things" shit. Another fascinating toy was the mighty bean. I spent (my parents spent) so much money on those insignificant little pieces of plastic. All they did was move weirdly when you placed them on the ground. Yawn. Something tells me I should not have had more than 1. They all do the same thing! Regardless, I had 200. Pretty regretful.
Another crowd favorite was the jelly ball attached to a string you put on one finger. It was somewhat like a yo-yo but with jelly as its decided state of matter. Those got banned in school because someone on the news accidently strangled themselves with it. Woof. Thanks kid, for ruining it for the rest of us. But actually, in all honesty, it was better for us not to have them at school. Kids are mean and steal. Reminds me of the time my red Razor scooter was stolen at the bus stop. RIP.
There were always the best board games too. My personal fave was skip bo. No one really knows about this one, but an au-pair of mine bought it for me for my birthday. That's another thing I had in the 90's, au-pairs.
So many people judge me when I bring up that I had au-pairs. "You're such a spoiled brat." No, I'm not. My parents have always both been really hard workers, and when you have two small children, usually you hire a babysitter or nanny. That's exactly what an au-pair is, yet they're from abroad. Really my parents did my sister and I a favor because we learned about some of their cultures. Each one would stay a year (if we liked them) and drive us to friend's houses and play with us after school. She would live in our house with us, cook us dinner if my parents were running late from work. No harm in that- just a full-time babysitter.
Some of my au-pairs we stayed in touch with! One even came to my Bat Mitzvah. I was so happy she was there. It was definitely a cool aspect of my childhood to have a girl from a different country (such as South Africa, Slovakia, Sweden, etc.) stay with us. It was also good for me because I was a chubby kid and usually they made me play outside rather then rot inside playing neopets or club penguin.
Going to the park alone would suck, but with an au-pair it ruled. Similarly she would play pretty pretty princess with my sister and I...and break us up when we fought about the crown. Wow, the 90s were excellent. Even the early 2000s were not shabby either. One of the first (and only) memories from the millenium celebration was when I went to Montessori- my preschool- after winter break. We always would recite the date that it was. Of course, being the loud mouth I was, I volunteered because I wanted to be the first of the year. Shockingly, I was called on!! The excitement was unreal. I stated, "It is January (whatever date it was) 1999." And right as I finished, this juvenile meanie screamed, "No it isn't! It's 2000. She's wrong."
K.
Unfortunately the 90s ended and it was time to say Bye, Bye, Bye to gel pens and polly pocket.
Barbies will live forever. Just saying.
peace.love.meep
-amyjoy
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